Im Glue

Well Im back in the land of the confusing... I just returned from an amazing journey and having met some really amazing people. One of which I became very fond of... Lets add it to the list of complications in my life. So the one who has caused me so much pain and heart ache is now on his best behavior making it all the more difficult for me to walk away. I will be relocating in Aug for school, thank god, but until then should I stay or should I go. Staying keeps me seperated from a life I miss but am not ready to run back to and going keeps me away from a ticking time bomb. Will it ever get easier??

Is this real

It all started last year... well it started much earlier than that but thats just this story. I am a 27 year old female with everything and nothing all at once. At the moment im between both places trying to find some peace. If someone told me 10 years ago Id be where I am or that it could be this difficult at such a young age I never would've believed it. I am very fortunate in a lot of ways and I know there are millions of others out there who have it way worse but what Im going through for me is not where I want it to be. Economy bullshit aside Im unemployed, on an education road block and slowly losing my mind as well as my identity. I am a very positive person, sometimes its obnoxious I dont blame anyone but myself for all my troubles, its too easy to blame others. In the last year Ive lost my finger, literally, my career and my ambition, why you ask!? Take one guess.... yup over a guy, two actually, the first one who broke my heart so bad caused me to make the drastic decision to run from all ive ever known, friends, family, life into the arms of another man who has such a good heart but a horrible head. He's the most abusive man Ive ever met and sometimes I wish it was physical at least the bruises heal but unfortunately he's a verbal abuser. He has the best intentions but the worst habits, he had a horrible childhood and never let it out, well I guess its all coming out on me.... This whole blogging thing is very new to me so I apologize if im all over the place but i didnt know where else to go. My friends and family are there for me but sometimes the same advice over and over gets more frustrating than helpful. I will tell my story but at the moment I need to go... I'll be back with or without you.